Mistaken identity
A long-standing friend of mine with a three-year-old daughter has moved back to New Zealand after four years away. This was my first time meeting her little girl and upon their leaving I said to her, “It was so lovely to meet you, finally,” to which Miss Three replied, “My name’s not Finally – it’s Eilish!”
Sherene, by email
Kitten crazy
My seven-year-old granddaughter has a rabbit, five hens, two cats and two dogs, but is always on the look-out for more. When her friend’s cat had kittens, Miss Seven tried to convince her father that they should come home with her. After much pleading, Dad still refused. “But Dad,” Miss Seven said, with fingers crossed behind her back, “it’s buy one, get one free!”
Nana, Masterton
Pooped Poppa
Poppa had been out fishing all day when Master Three climbed on to his lap. “How ya doing, Poppa?” he asked. Poppa admitted, “I’m pooped.” Master Three scrambled off that knee as fast as he could and gave Poppa a dirty look. But it faded to a grin as the youngster realised the joke was on him. “No you haven’t!” he said. Poppa nearly wet himself laughing.
J Land, by email
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My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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