Love potion
My seven-year-old asked me the other night if he could have a little sister or brother. I said that Mummy and Daddy were too old to have any more children. Our nine-year-old, who had been watching the TV ads during the news, said, “Well the TV said you’re not too old. Why can’t Dad just take some Cialis?”
Andi, Auckland
Old-fashioned
While I was relaxing in an armchair and browsing through a well-known mail-order fashion catalogue, little Master Five piped up, “Grandma, are you wishing that you were young again so that you could wear those young clothes?”
Deflated, Dunedin
Birthday blues
Recently, when our third baby was born, we had a lot of friends and family visiting our house bearing gifts and
flowers. Master Five asked, “How come the baby gets all these presents?” We replied, “Well, it’s her birthday.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Master Five crossed his arms and angrily said, “That’s not fair! She’s only just been
born and she gets a birthday, but I have to wait a whole year!”
Lee, New Plymouth
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Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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