Game over
Playing I Spy while patiently waiting in the car, Master Four said he spied something orange. His grandparents simply couldn’t guess and finally gave in to their grandson. Then with a big grin on his little face, Master Four revealed, “It’s Jesus in the sky wearing orange pants!”
Mummy Dearest, by email
Sneaky Snails
My husband and I bought my niece a kit that included a book about insects and how to find them. You can imagine my confusion when, on the insect hunt, she suddenly lifted up my top to reveal my pregnant belly. When I asked her what she was looking for, she replied, “Well, I’m looking for the snail that left all these trails on your belly.” She was talking about my stretchmarks!
Bronwyn Maireroa, Woolston
Grass Roots
My grandson told his mum that he’d forgotten to take his lunch to preschool. My daughter shouted at him, “I know why you didn’t take your lunchbox – because you had healthy sandwiches in there.” “Well,” Master Four replied, “you put all the grass in my bread.”
Betty, Auckland
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Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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