My daughter was camping with her family at Lake Tekapo and Master Four was having a great time playing with the other children at the camping ground. One little boy proudly proclaimed, “My dad can fly helicopters!” Not to be outdone, Master Four replied very loudly, “Well, my dad can fly kites!” The other campers exchanged discreet smiles of mirth.
Nana, Ashburton
Well-seasoned?
My neighbour – a great baker – thought she would donate a cake for raffle at the local school gala. Delighted to hear that a friend had won the raffle, my neighbour asked how she had enjoyed the cake. Her friend was sorry to admit that the cake was inedible and even the birds had steered clear! It turned out my neighbour had mistaken the salt for caster sugar.
Rose, Featherston
Unlikely lesson
My husband was teaching the story of Lazarus to my son. “After his death, many people gathered to treat Lazarus’ body, wrap him and lay him in the tomb,” he said. “After four days of mourning, Lazarus stood up and walked out. Now, what do you suppose the people thought of that?” My son thought for a moment before replying, “All that work for nothing?”
J Ferguson, Opotiki
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Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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