After putting my six-year-old and three-year-old to bed, I settled down on the couch to watch TV. Miss
Three decided she wanted to join Mum, but with her Barbie as well. She asked me to brush Barbie’s hair with my fingers as we couldn’t find the comb. I replied, “No, it’s bedtime. You’ve had your kiss and cuddle and a story. It’s Mum’s quiet-time.” So what does my beautiful little girl turn around and say to me? “You’re fired!”
Robyn, Kaiapoi
ANIMAL ADVICE
My five-year-old grandson, who has been at school for two months, imparted some excellent advice recently. “If you get into a rhinoceros’ enclosure, don’t move because their eyes have evolved to register movement.” He told me he had learnt this at school. It’s just one of the many amazing revelations he has passed on in his five short years!
Daniel’s Nana, Manawatu
JAM PACKED
My sister’s eyesight is not the best. Recently, she put a dollop of raspberry jam, instead of tomato sauce, into the
mince. She scooped out as much as she could and said if her husband complained – which was likely – she would just call it “sweet and sour”!
Mrs BM Farrant, Christchurch
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Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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