Cabbage patch kid?
My friend took her five-year-old nephew to visit his mum and new baby brother in hospital. On arrival, he gazed at his new brother for several minutes, turned and said, “You growed him good, Mum – when can he play?”
Still Smiling, Nelson
Hard candy
We decorated the Christmas tree as a surprise for the little ones and they all woke to find lots of decorations and sweet treats hanging from the branches. We had started making the Christmas lunch when my nephew yelled out, “Auntie, I like the candy canes and chocolate Santas but the apples are a bit hard to bite!” He had bitten into one of the apple decorations as he thought they looked so real!
Zak, Whangarei
Cat nap
After a hard day at work, my friend’s adult son fell asleep on the train on the way home. He woke up to see a small girl staring at him from the seat in front. “Mummy,” said the child, “that man’s stopped roaring like a tiger now.” My friend’s son laughs, “I don’t care if I was snoring. I had a lovely sleep.”
Flamingo, Auckland
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My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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