Box of birds
Master Two loves to play hide and seek. I went looking for him outside and got quite a fright when there was no sign of him. But when I called out to him, I heard a quiet, “Mummy”. I looked over to see my little son sitting inside the birdcage with the lorikeet, eating the dry bird-food mix. Needless to say, Dad won’t forget to lock the cage again.
Ann Steele, via email
SMARTY PANTS
Master 11 had been nagging his sister (Miss 13) for months to stop wearing his boxers, but to no avail. He threatened to wear her bra to school if she didn’t stop borrowiing his undies – and a few days later did as promised, with his head held high and not an ounce of embarrassment. Miss 13 was simply mortified when her mother had to come in and collect her undergarment from the principal’s office.
CE Henry, Whenuapai
HEALTH CHECK
My nine-year-old granddaughter was watching TV with her grandfather and me when an advert for cervical smears came on. “Have you been, Nana?” she asked, and I replied that I had. She then turned to her grandfather and said, “What about you?” He replied, going slightly red, “No, but I did have a tetanus injection last week.” Miss Nine was satisfied.
Shirley, Rolleston
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My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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