Dear Diane,
As a full-time working mum, how do you ensure you have quality time with your children? I often feel I’m not giving them enough. I hear myself telling them to, “just wait a minute” while I peel potatoes, make the bed or finish the ironing. My mother didn’t work and was always available to us, so I feel guilty that I can’t do this myself. I’m hoping to work part time when the bulk of our mortgage has been paid off, but unfortunately that will not be for a few years yet.
Mary-Jane
Dear Mary-Jane,
You are facing the same dilemma that faces all mothers who work outside the home full time. There is simply no way to be as available as an at-home mother, but it is perfectly possible to make the time that you do have, quality time. The strategy I found most useful was to try and keep myself as available as possible in the mornings and after work. It is a counsel of perfection, but doable often enough if you decide that quality childcare time is in the morning before school, and from when you come home until 7.30pm. Seven-thirty until 10pm is the time to get set up for the following day. Aim to walk into the house after work fully available. If you need 10 minutes to yourself, take it in the car before you get home. Lock your handbag and laptop in the boot of your car and then walk into the house with both arms open to your children. Put the answer phone and cellphone on zero rings or zero volume and only check messages once – or better still, not at all – when the children are in bed. This means that things like cuddles, homework, baths, meals, bedtime stories and chats (quality time) can proceed uninterrupted. Also, never peel potatoes. Either leave the skin on or have pasta!
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