Dear Diane,
My 11-year-old son was telling me that his classmates dared a boy at school to ask a girl out for a joke. She said “yes”, and what appears to be a genuine romance has developed. These two children hold hands, sit chatting, and basically they’re never apart. Some of the other children have been mocking them and apparently the girl gets very upset about it. I feel that all these kids are too young for this kind of thing. Should I be asking the school to try and do something?
Helen, by email
Dear Helen,
Your message has given me flashbacks to the time when my daughter, at a similar age, had a lovely friendship with a boy in her class. While the two children were just happy in their companionship, what was intriguing was watching how all the parents got excited about it and seemed to want “progress reports”. It lasted about six months and then sort of petered out. I would think carefully about going to the school unless you have a particular concern for your son. Otherwise it is probably best left for the school to deal with. I have no doubt that they are aware of what is going on and I hope they treat this friendship with kindness.
It is hard to imagine what grounds they would have for objection, other than the hand holding which is probably not appropriate school behaviour.
The bit that bothers me is that the girl is being mocked. I am sure lots of people would shrug it off as a bit of teasing, but you may wish to discuss with your son how the line is easily crossed from harmless teasing to harmful taunting.
This is an opportunity for you to talk to him about how he feels watching people being unkind to someone, and whether or not he should intervene when he sees this happening.
