It’s been an incredibly tough week for Our First Home’s Gourley family, who have been rocked by the death of Al’s mother Ada Joyce. Al and his tight-knit family were told during filming of the TV One show that his 85-year-old mother had suffered a stroke in her Geraldine nursing home. The Tauranga-based builder, who is currently living in Auckland for the show, took comfort in knowing Joyce quickly had a family member with her, as his youngest son, Josh (19), who lives within an hour of the home, rushed to be by her side.
“Thankfully, Josh was able to get some time off work and be with Mum within hours of us hearing that she had taken a turn for the worse,” says Al. “That was really helpful for me, just knowing she had family with her, even when I couldn’t be.” But Al and his wife Anne were soon by Joyce’s side. After being released from filming commitments, they travelled to Geraldine to spend two days with Joyce. Sadly, she passed away later in the week. “I will be forever grateful for that precious last time spent with my mum,” says Al.
Al misses his beloved mother Ada deeply. He takes comfort in the memories he shared with her.
Al tells how his mother’s health had been steadily deteriorating in recent years and the family had discussed what they would do should the worst eventuate. They visited her in Geraldine before filming began, and told her the exciting news that they would soon be on a TV show together, although Al was unsure whether Joyce was able to really take in the news, due to her poor health. “I do know she would have been incredibly proud of us and excited to have seen it,” he shares. “That was one of our points of grief – that Joyce never got to really see it. We have often commented how Anne’s mum would have loved it too. She lived with us for many years until she died three years ago.”
Al is determined to continue with the show despite his grief, in the hope of giving his daughter and son-in-law a head start in life.
Al and Anne, who are parents to Tessa (27), Amy (21) and Josh, leaned on one another to get through their grief – and to continue on with the gruelling demands of the show. “It is times like this that the strength of family bonds become most apparent,” says Al. “Amy and my other children were amazingly supportive of me considering it was their grandmother they also lost.” Also helping them through has been their strong faith, which brought Al and Joyce closer after she became a Christian 10 years ago. It bonded the two together, after a period where they saw little of each other.
Al’s wife Ann has been a huge support during this difficult time.
“My mum and dad separated when I was 10 years old, which was really hard for me as I was a bit of a mummy’s boy. It was a complete shock to me when she left, as it was for my siblings [his brothers, John and James, and sister Catherine].” After meeting Anne aged 16, he re-established a relationship with his mum. Joyce loved Anne – a feeling that was mutual. When Joyce became a Christian, it became a big part of her and Al’s relationship. “She loved me to read to her from the Bible,” says Al. “On that last visit, just days before she died, I recited the 23rd Psalm and she joined in. I found it comforting that although she could barely remember anything else, the word of God stayed with her.”
The family is now planning a memorial service in Waihi, where they plan to share their happy memories of Joyce. “Her ability to be content in any circumstance often amazed me and is possibly the thing that has had the most impact on my life,” Al concludes. “Contentment is a rare thing and she lived it.”
Our First Home airs Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays on TV One.
