NZ Woman's Weekly

To remarry ex-husband or not?

Dear Wendyl,
My husband and I split up five years ago after a very stressful time running a business together. Our kids were in their twenties so it wasn’t too horrible for them. We have stayed in touch and recently started seeing each other again. This time around it is so much easier – mainly because we’re not working together – and the other night he asked me to marry him again. I’m worried about what our family and friends will say as it feels a bit ridiculous to marry a man I’ve divorced, yet I find being with him so nice and he makes me feel special. What should I do?

Twice Shy, via email

Dear Twice Shy,
This does happen when circumstances change. My only advice would be to check that it was only the
business situation that caused problems. If he was doing things to make you unhappy on a personal level, such as being controlling or violent, then that may not have changed. Make a list of his attributes when you broke up and the ones he has now. Compare the two and see if that helps you see the wood for the trees. And if you’re still unsure, why not call Relationship Services on 0800 RELATE? Have a couple of counselling sessions, to give your relationship a warrant of fitness before you sign up again.

Send your questions to or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.


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