NZ Woman's Weekly

Relationship counselling

Dear Wendyl,
My marriage has been on the rocks for a few years now, but somehow we have managed to patch things up and struggle along. Recently my husband came home and suggested that we get some counselling, saying it had improved a friend’s marriage. As we acknowledge ours is in trouble, he thought it was worth a try. But I have issues with counselling because part of me is scared what might come out. I’m not sure we have the strength to cope with unzipping our marriage, taking it out and having a good look at it. Do you think counselling helps marriages?

Worried, Christchurch

Dear Worried,
Yes, it’s tough “unzipping” as you call it. But do you want your marriage to work or not? I get really sick and tired of people who moan about their problems but don’t have the guts or determination to do something about it, preferring to live a miserable life and inflict it on others. Your husband is at least trying to lead the way. I think it’s time you pulled yourself up and made a commitment to go down this track, no matter how hard and painful it will be. Many couples find that getting through counselling is hard, but when you have someone else in the room to mediate you can work through issues you may not have been able to in the past. You might come out of it with a happy marriage for the rest of your lives. If you don’t, then at least you gave it a good chance. So take the plunge and give yourself some hope.

Send your questions to or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.

Issue 1541

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