Every week my partner drops his kids off at his ex-wife’s house on Friday after school. Sometimes he stays for a beer and the round trip can take anything up to two hours. I’ve started worrying that he is still attracted to her and they might be having sex. They do get on really well and their split was very amicable, but then I think I’m just being paranoid. But does he really need to stay that long, especially on a Friday night? What do you think?
Stepmum, by email
Living in a state of distrust is one of the most destructive things you can do to yourself and your relationship. I think it’s great that your partner stops off and has a beer – what a great model for his children that Mum and Dad are not at war and are friends. What a lovely gift to those kids, who probably worry quite a lot about their mum and dad not being together. Meanwhile you’re sitting at home, having a glass of wine and creating infidelity scenarios. Do me and him a favour – meet some friends when he is on the kid run, distract yourself, and every time the ridiculous thought of him and her together pops into your head, replace it with the positive image of him joining you for a drink and then going out for a great night together. Trust him, and you will soon forget this problem ever existed.
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