NZ Woman's Weekly

Feeling blue and lonely

Dear Wendyl,
I am 69, have been widowed for a long time and have been feeling very blue recently. I have great kids and grandchildren who all care about me but are busy with their own lives. For many years I have been socialising and had interesting hobbies but now I’m feeling disconnected and unmotivated to do anything but sleep and fill in time. I can feel myself retreating from people but am able to smile and chat when I have to. I’ve always been open to the idea of finding a partner to share my life with but I’ve not met the right person for me to make a permanent commitment with. I’ve been taking antidepressants but they only help short-term. I would appreciate your sensible and practical thoughts.

Blue Nana, Tauranga

Dear Blue Nana,
It seems that you have been doing a very good job of coping on your own and keeping yourself active and social. But now something’s changed and it’s too much effort. And that happens to all of us from time to time when the life we’re leading just isn’t right somehow. And that’s when you need to put your hand up. Talk to the child you feel closest to and tell them how you are feeling. Often it’s easy to think that the kids are too busy for you but once they are aware that you need some help they will be there for you. Talking to your family is the first step and from there you may realise what you need to make a difference.

Perhaps you need to have some time out – a holiday somewhere or a stay at one of their houses. Or you might be lonely, in which case your family might be able to visit more and help you get out to social occasions so that it’s not all up to you to make it happen. Please be brave and let someone close know how you are feeling. Just take that first step and things will feel a lot better.

Send your questions to or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.

Issue 1541

Subscribe to the magazine

Simon Barnett’s 7 magic rules

In this week's issue of New Zealand Woman's Weekly magazine: Simon Barnett reveals his seven magic rules for raising girls.

New Zealand Woman's Weekly is the country's most-loved women's magazine, bringing a wide variety of news, stories, recipes and helpful hints to the home every week.

Subscribe now

Subscribe to our newsletters

Receive the latest celebrity news, recipes and beauty tips, delivered right to your inbox.