Entertaining at breakfast

Being childless, I am an expert on motherhood. They say raising kids is like psychosis – long stretches of terror with bursts of supernatural joy. Whenever I say to my brothers and sisters who’ve had children, “Why don’t you come over for breakfast?” they ask, “Are you insane?”

Breakfast is something you run through on a weekday but might consider strolling through on the weekend.

I am the eldest of six and when we were young we ate cornflakes with home-preserved peaches and porridge with brown sugar and cream from the top of the milk bottle which we fetched from the gate every morning.

This was followed by toast with marmalade or Vegemite and a glass of milk.

This routine never varied and we were ecstatic about it.

oy mother insisted on family meals no matter how tricky schedules got and, in retrospect, she was right – I wouldn’t have even talked to all those people in my house if I hadn’t been related to them.

When I grew up, I discovered the romantic and entertainment potential of breakfast. What I suggest is something a little bit posh. Before your loved one gets out of bed, bring them bubbly. If they say, “I don’t want breakfast in bed,” remind them they’re lucky to be alive, let alone getting bubbly in bed.

Grown-up breakfast is like morning sickness – don’t rise from your bed until you’ve eaten something sensible like a pain au chocolat. Buy them frozen – all you have to do is pop them in the oven. Your loved one will awaken to the smell of melting chocolate and pastry.

While they’re slipping into something comfortable, you – the devoted one – are in the kitchen whipping up the breakfast proper. For the first course try berries with cream, yoghurt, muesli, honey, orange juice and tea or coffee. For the next; something warm, probably with eggs in it – use quail’s eggs for a pretty and tasty change.

Also on the table, have French toast with smoked salmon and mayonnaise. Home-made mayonnaise is much better than shop-bought but it really depends how deep your love is.

Hot tips

• Sparkling Lindauer is very good at an astonishingly low price
• Quail eggs are tiny, speckled, inexpensive and you can buy them at Asian food stores
• French toast is made by dipping bread into a beaten egg and milk mixture, and frying it
• Buy smoked salmon off-cuts, which are cheaper but just as delicious
• Frozen berries from the supermarket work just as well as fresh
• Don’t do posh breakfast too often or your loved one will start to expect it