Meeting Mr. Right

Dear Wendyl,
Recently I met a great man. We get on so well, share a lot of the same interests and he adores me. But no matter how hard I try I’m not physically attracted to him. When we sleep together it’s okay but I can’t help feeling he’s simply not right for me in that department.

Part of me thinks I should get over it and enjoy this wonderful man, but I also wonder if I should commit to a life that’s less than perfect. What do I do?
Nearly Happy, by email

Dear Nearly Happy,
I would like to know more about your sexual relationships. Have they always been good? Is this a one-off or do you often have trouble being physically attracted?

First, I want you to make a list of all your partner’s qualities, good and bad. This is so you have a clear focus on the state of your relationship. Then list the physical qualities you dislike in him. Be particular and list every detail, no matter how small.

Then cross off the ones you can live with and see what you have left. Next, have an open and honest conversation with him. Consider seeing a sex counsellor, as often these problems can be easily fixed and are only there because of a previous bad experience. That way you’re giving the relationship the best chance you can.