Extramarital affairs

Dear Wendyl

My husband had to rush out to pick up one of our kids from rugby practice and he left his phone behind. While he was out, a text message popped up, and I read it.

It was from his female colleague and I can’t get the words out of my head.

It read, “I had a great time with you today, we must do it more often. See you tomorrow, Kelly xxx.” I think he might be having an affair with her, but whenever I mention her name he doesn’t flinch. What should I do?

Worried Wife, by email

Dear Worried Wife

Did you find out what they did that day to have a great time? Were they on a conference or working on a project together, perhaps? And not having a romp in some motel room as your rich imagination is telling you? As for the “xxx”, lots of people put those at the end of messages these days, so they don’t necessarily mean she’s in love with him. But we’re both dealing in “what ifs” and “could bes”, so you need some facts.

Talk to him about the message. He’ll either have a very good reason for it or he won’t. If he does, you can relax, and if he doesn’t, you need to work on honesty. You might need to seek help from a counsellor.