Agony Aunt: He talks too much
Dear Wendyl,
My husband and I are very social, we love going out with friends for dinner or having them over to our house. But I’ve started to become really embarrassed by my husband’s behaviour. He recently retired and he might be feeling a little insecure about himself because he insists on dominating the conversation. No-one can get a word in once he starts and I can see our guests’ eyes glaze over.
Just the other night they left before dessert. I want to say something to him but I’m worried he’ll be hurt. Can you think of a way I can get him to become a better listener?
Jaded, by email
Dear Jaded,
You have to say something. These are your friends too, and you shouldn’t be losing them to his behaviour. But he may not realise he’s doing it. Sit him down, talk about how his conversation domination is making you feel and the reactions from your friends, and work on it together.
A lot of couples find it useful to have a code word to stop a certain behaviour. Perhaps you could signal to him to shut up by saying, “Anyone got the time?” He will then realise that he’s doing it and stop talking. Meanwhile, see that he finds some new interests so he feels valuable to society again.
Wendyl
- Wendyl Nissen
The young Christchurch promotions model determined to walk again after tragically losing her legs in the February earthquake is still coping with the ongoing complications ... More
You need to know
Sign up for our newsletters and get the latest in gossip, beauty and food sent direct to your inbox... Sign up now
Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
... More