Agony aunt: To tired for sex
Dear Wendyl,
I’m in a good marriage and I love my husband. My problem is that I’m a working mum and when I get exhausted I just don’t feel like sex, yet my husband wants it all the time no matter how tired he is. It’s really starting to annoy me because if I say “no” he sulks and then I feel bad, so I just give in. How do I tell him that I need some space in bed?
Sexed Out, email
Dear Sexed Out,
If you were really honest with yourself would you say you miss sex? Because I think most people do miss it if their love life is not going well and I would encourage you to focus on getting more sex rather than less as, in my opinion, sex is the glue that binds marriages together. If you do feel like it but just not at night, then what about the morning? Weekend afternoons? Realistically, for most couples we are talking about finding 20 minutes – so why not put it at the top of your priority list for a while, behind work deadlines and housework and rediscover how healthy sex can be for a relationship. If you’re not feeling like sex full-stop, then it is probably due to more than exhaustion and could mean deeper problems in your relationship, so make sure you aren’t anxious or angry about some other part of your marriage.
- Wendyl
- Wendyl Nissen
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