Sharing your sexual past

Dear Wendyl,

I love my partner of six months a lot and our sex life is pretty amazing. The only problem is he still talks about his ex and the antics they got up to in the bedroom. We’ll be in bed and he’ll tell me a story about some crazy night he had with her and everything they got up to. Then he’ll be all worked up and I’ll feel decidedly turned off. How do I get him to leave his sexual past at the door and focus on his sexual future?

Abby, by email

Dear Abby,

oen can be so stupid. I think this is your partner’s idea of foreplay. He thinks that by telling you how awesome he was you will concentrate on his sexual prowess, not on the fact he was with another woman, who happens to be his ex. So give him a gentle nudge in the right direction.

Next time he drags up another scenario, perhaps suggest that you’d love to hear about it, but you really don’t need to know who it was with because it makes you feel jealous. He doesn’t want you feeling like that just before sex, does he? And just between us, he’ll give up the stories after a while. He’s, rather sweetly, still trying to impress you.

 

Send your questions to wendyl.nissen@nzww.co.nz or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, Po Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142