Agony aunt: Halfway house
Dear Wendyl,
My boyfriend of three years has moved in with me, which is really great. My problem is that we are both in our late forties and we both have a house from our previous marriages. We’re living in mine but he refuses to sell his. I just thought instead of charging him rent, it would be easier to sell his house, put that money on my mortgage and then go 50/50.
But he wants to keep it all separate. He says he wants to keep the house as an investment and hasn’t offered to pay a cent in rent. This makes me think he’s not committed to the relationship and might even be taking me for a ride. It’s got to the stage where I fume about it all day and I’m worried it will ruin what we have. How can I get him to commit?
Lynda, New Plymouth
Dear Lynda,
How much commitment do you want? I think the fact he has moved in is a significant vote of confidence. But why, oh why, didn’t you sort all this first? You’ve been married, you know the laws and you know that after three years together you go halves on all property unless one of you has their house in a trust or something similar, so that’s not really the issue, is it?
I think you’re just annoyed he’s not paying his way and that should have been cleared before he shifted his toothbrush in. I presume he has rented his property out, so ask him to cough up. But don’t make it about commitment. He’s allowed to keep his house if he wants.
- Wendyl
- Wendyl Nissen, Agony Aunt
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