Agony Aunt: friends with benefits?

Dear Wendyl,

I moved recently, and get along with my new neighbours very well. often we’ll get together to do gardening or watch movies. one of my neighbours is a very nice man, and we get on famously.

We see each other every day and I find myself really looking forward to our morning coffee. I’d like to take it further, but the other day I touched his hand when we were talking about his wife who died two years ago, and he pulled it away and gave me an odd look. Should I back off?

Happy but Lonely, Tauranga

Dear Happy but Lonely,

I’m so happy to hear you’re enjoying your new place.

Regarding your man friend, I suggest you give it some time. If he was only widowed two years ago, he’s probably still grieving and may not be interested in romance right now. So enjoy your friendship for what it is: a nice coffee in the morning, fun in the garden and watching movies, and try to be happy with that. When and if he’s ready, you’ll know. There will be a look or a glance that will send you a signal, so wait for that and trust your instincts. Romance is nice, but friendship is just as important. Sometimes men and women make better friends than lovers.

Do you have a question for Wendyl? Email her at wendyl.nissen@nzww.co.nz