Casual relationship at 40?

Dear Wendyl,

I’ve been seeing a man in what I thought was a casual relationship where we meet up, go out, sleep together and generally have fun. We’re both in our forties, but from the start I made it clear I wasn’t interested in anything serious.

He was agreeable, but has recently started bringing up the C-word, and I’m not prepared to go near commitment. I worry the L-word will be next, and I don’t love him.

I should probably end it, but I’m having fun, so why should I? What do you think?

Free Spirit, by email

Dear Free Spirit,

Are you joking?

Most single women I know are gagging for the C-word, the L-word and hopefully the o-word to take them down the aisle.

I’m going to be straight with you – you’re in your forties, and while I respect anyone who wants to lead an uncomplicated life, I think as you get older you may find having a relationship where you care for and love each other will beat a night out and a bonk, which is essentially what you’re happy with.

So don’t live for today – live for tomorrow, and see where that takes you.

Do you have a question for Wendyl? Email her at wendyl.nissen@nzww.co.nz