How puberty affects kids – and how parents can help

Here's what to expect:

Girls

• Puberty can happen anytime between the ages of eight and 14.
• The first signs are usually the beginning of breast growth and getting taller.
• Their hips will widen and they may develop curves.
• One breast may develop slightly more than the other. This is quite normal.
• They may notice a whitish discharge from the vagina. This is normal – it is old cells being shed from the lining of the vagina. It shouldn’t itch or cause pain. If they do have these symptoms, consult a doctor.
• Periods normally start around 12 months after the first physical signs of puberty.

Boys

• The first signs of puberty show up between nine and 15 years of age.
• These include a growth spurt, in which they become taller. Later the testicles and penis grow larger. It is common for one testicle to be bigger than the other.
• The voice “breaks” and becomes deeper. This is due to the larynx, or voice box, getting bigger. - They notice nocturnal emissions, or wet dreams, when semen is ejaculated in their sleep. Again, this is normal and can’t be controlled.
• They begin to experience erections, sometimes for no reason at all.

Girls and boys:

• Hair will begin to grow around the pubic area, underarms and legs and, for boys, on their faces.
• The skin on their face and back becomes oilier, often causing acne.
• Their hair may become oilier and need washing more frequently.
• Their sweat glands become more active and their sweat smells different to the way it did when they were younger. They may need to use deodorant.

Some tweens will worry that what is happening to them is not normal, especially if their friends are going through puberty at a different time to them. Let them know that not everyone is the same and if they’re slower or earlier to develop than their friends then that is perfectly okay.

Make sure they know they can talk to you about any issues they have. If they become really concerned, get your GP to have a reassuring word with them.

Build strong bones and teeth
Bones grow at their fastest during the tween and teen years so it is important that your child has adequate calcium in their diet to help with this growth – they won’t be able to make up for it later in life. In fact, when most people finish growing at around age 17, 90% of their adult bone mass is already established. Girls in particular need to make sure they are getting enough calcium to build strong bones to reduce their risk of getting osteoporosis later in life.

According to American paediatric experts, children aged nine and over, need 1300mg of milk a day – that’s the equivalent of about four glasses. Other foods rich in calcium include cheese and yoghurt. Smaller amounts of calcium are found in spinach, broccoli, oranges and kumara.

Calcium is also critical for teeth. In fact your kids need a healthy supply of it even before their adult teeth start to come in. By the time they reach their tweens they will have most of their adult teeth and need to keep them as strong and healthy as possible. Even if they’ve been brushing their teeth on their own for years, you may need to oversee them from time to time to make sure they’re doing it correctly.

Make sure they're moving
According to Sport and Recreation New Zealand, children aged between five and 18 years need to do at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day.

Sparc defines moderate as a brisk walk or its equivalent, while vigorous is any activity that makes you “huff and puff”. Often tweens don’t tend to run around as much as younger children do, so you might need to organise activities for them to provide the necessary exercise. Encouraging them to play a sport is a good start, and taking kids for bike rides or kicking a ball around in the garden or park will help get them moving too. Research has shown that children who are physically active have better physical and mental health.

Encourage healthy eating
As they get older, young people begin to exert more control over what they eat and listen less to you. They may be ditching their healthy school lunches and spending pocket money on junk food without you realising. The best way to get around this is to explain why it’s so vital to eat lots of good foods like fruit and vegetables and only have sugary foods or potato chips occasionally. If they understand why they should be eating this way they’re less likely to see you as a mean old nag. And you’ll be setting up good habits for life.

Tell them:

• Healthy foods like vegetables make their bodies work better. They’ll be stronger, feel less tired and have more energy. Lots of junk food has the opposite effect.
• Good food also makes their brains work better. Children who eat lots of fruit and vegetables, brown bread, pasta and rice, low-fat dairy products, meat and fish find it easier to concentrate and may do better at school than those who fill up on pies, sausage rolls, chips, chocolates and lollies.
• They’ll be less likely to get sick (and miss favourite activities) if they eat well.
• Lots of sugar is terrible for their teeth. If they want to avoid visits to the dentist they should cut down on it.
• They’ll look better if they eat well. Their hair will be shinier, their eyes brighter and their skin clearer. Tweens and teens keen on future romance tend to respond to this!

One way of getting kids to eat healthier meals is to get them cooking. Make it fun and let them try different cuisines or unusual combinations. They could even be responsible for one meal a week – they’ll be a lot less likely to turn up their noses if they’ve made it themselves.

Here’s how much calcium they’ll get from certain foods:

• Milk (1 cup) – 300mg
• Plain yoghurt – 300-450mg
• Cheddar cheese – 300mg
• Spinach (1 cup raw) – 120mg
• Soft-serve icecream – 118mg
• One medium orange – 50mg
• Kumara (½ cup mashed) – 44mg
• Broccoli (½ cup cooked) – 35mg.
• Lentils, sardines and salmon also provide calcium. Soy milk is suitable for children with a milk allergy.