Talking to your teens about alcohol
Alcohol is often very readily available to our teens, no matter what laws are in place. They can get it from older siblings, friends and relatives. So it’s a good idea to teach your child how to handle alcohol in their social circle and establish some ground rules for drinking at home. Here are some tips for taking control of how your kids use alcohol:
EDUCATE YOURSELF
Learn what type of alcohol your child is likely to be offered. Many parents of teenagers have never tasted alco-pops or know what their level of intoxication is. Talk to your kids about the different alcoholic drinks that are available and how much alcohol they contain. Try to steer your teens towards low-alcohol drinks, especially if they are not used to drinking.
MAKE SOME RULES
Is it okay for your kids to have one or two drinks on a social outing? If so, what drinks are they allowed and have they already sampled these drinks at home under your supervision? Or do you prefer that your teen only drinks in your company so that you can keep an eye on them? Ask them what their friends are allowed to do, then try to work out some rules which fit in with moderate drinking as well as what you feel comfortable with.
SET A GOOD EXAMPLE
If you are trying to get your child to drink sensibly, then do so yourself. Drink-driving, excessive drinking and relying on alcohol to have a good time sends a message to your child that this is an appropriate way to behave. Modify your own behaviour and model sensible drinking habits such as switching to non-alcoholic drinks during a party and catching taxis home.
GIVE YOUR TEEN TOOLS
Does your teen have the tools they need to say no? Peer pressure can be extremely hard to deal with – even as adults – when it comes to drinking. You can help your teens by getting them to practise saying, “No thank you, I’m not drinking tonight,” and, “No thanks, I’ve had enough.” Also, encourage kids to ask what it is they’re being offered and where it came from before accepting anything to drink.
HELP TEENS TO GET HOME
Encourage your kids to leave a situation if they start feeling uncomfortable. An offer of a ride home – any time, any place, no questions asked – can often be all your teenager needs to get out of a situation they feel they can’t handle. Teach your children how to look after each other. Not all kids handle alcohol well so teach your teen never to leave a friend alone if they have crashed out and, if necessary, to bring them home with them for you to look after.
DRINK SAFELY AT HOME
Teach your children and their friends to drink safely. Check that their friends’ parents know where they are and that they are able to drink. This way, they can stay the night and not drive home drunk and you can also keep an eye on their alcohol intake. And always make sure there are non-alcoholic drinks available. Teens who are having a difficult time, due to stress at home or low self-esteem, are more likely to abuse alcohol. So if you sense your child is turning to alcohol as a release try to find ways to work with them at handling their anxiety and frustrations without resorting to alcohol.
BE A KNOW-IT-ALL
Make it your business to know the parents of your child’s friends. If your daughter or son is going to a party at a friend’s house, check that the parents will be supervising and give them your phone number.
KEEP IN TOUCH
Most teens have cellphones these days, so ask that your child keeps in touch by text if they’re at a party. Make sure you know where they are and that they are safe by checking with them now and then.
KNOW THE RULES
If your child is staying at a friend’s place for the weekend or on holidays, make sure the parents know what your rules are regarding alcohol. Often teenagers can set their own limits when they are within their family group but cannot be so strong when away from it.
NO DRINKING AND DRIVING
Have a family rule that no-one drinks and drives and make sure your child knows to call you for a ride rather than accept a lift from a drunk friend.
TALK TO YOUR TEENS
Spend some time talking with your kids about what alcohol actually does to the body. Once they understand how it works and the dangers that come with it, they will find it easier to ease off. For more info on talking to your teens about their drinking habits, visit www.alac.govt.nz
- Wendyl Nissen
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