Agony aunt: Used and confused
Q:
Dear Wendyl,
I’m a single mother on a benefit and I have two kids. We’re doing the best we can and I want to go back to work but I’ve applied for jobs and never got them. My problem is that my neighbour is a single working mum and I end up looking after her kids quite a bit if she’s late home or has an appointment.
Since all the stuff in the news about how much people get on the benefit, I’ve noticed she’s been really short with me and I heard her daughter say to my son, “Your mum’s just a lazy dole bludger.” I sat my kids down that night and talked to them but I can’t believe this woman has turned on me after everything I’ve done for her. How do I get her to see me as I am?
Sad and Ashamed, Auckland
Dear Sad and Ashamed,
I got so angry reading your letter. If it was me, I would charge over there and remind her that you are the person she is happy to have look after her kids for nothing but then turns around and calls you a bludger. But to be honest, I don’t think that will fix this.
When times get tough, it’s interesting to see where the focus turns. This is a country that doesn’t turn its back on people in need and I, for one, am proud of that. Would she rather she looked over the fence at a family starving and unable to survive? Just ignore her, hold your head up high and, from now on, you are too busy being a dole bludger to provide free childcare.
- Wendyl
A:
Dear Wendyl,
I’m a single mother on a benefit and I have two kids. We’re doing the best we can and I want to go back to work but I’ve applied for jobs and never got them. My problem is that my neighbour is a single working mum and I end up looking after her kids quite a bit if she’s late home or has an appointment.
Since all the stuff in the news about how much people get on the benefit, I’ve noticed she’s been really short with me and I heard her daughter say to my son, “Your mum’s just a lazy dole bludger.” I sat my kids down that night and talked to them but I can’t believe this woman has turned on me after everything I’ve done for her. How do I get her to see me as I am?
Sad and Ashamed, Auckland
Dear Sad and Ashamed,
I got so angry reading your letter. If it was me, I would charge over there and remind her that you are the person she is happy to have look after her kids for nothing but then turns around and calls you a bludger. But to be honest, I don’t think that will fix this.
When times get tough, it’s interesting to see where the focus turns. This is a country that doesn’t turn its back on people in need and I, for one, am proud of that. Would she rather she looked over the fence at a family starving and unable to survive? Just ignore her, hold your head up high and, from now on, you are too busy being a dole bludger to provide free childcare.
- Wendyl
* Denotes a required field
The young Christchurch promotions model determined to walk again after tragically losing her legs in the February earthquake is still coping with the ongoing complications ... More
You need to know
Sign up for our newsletters and get the latest in gossip, beauty and food sent direct to your inbox... Sign up now
Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
... More