Agony aunt: Missing in action
Q:
Dear Wendyl,
I really need your advice. The other night my husband didn’t come home and I had no idea where he was. His cellphone was turned off and I was distraught. Finally he rolled in at 6am and seemed to expect me to welcome him with loving arms.
He was shattered for two days afterwards, then he seemed okay. He’s been apologetic but won’t talk about what he was up to. My friend says I should kick him out and that there must be another woman involved. She thinks I should teach him a lesson, but it’s not like he’s done this before. What would you do?
Upset, email
Dear Upset, Forget about what I would do for the moment. Judging by the two-day come-down, his unusual behaviour of not keeping you informed and the staying out until 6am, I think your husband took some drugs or something similar. And I think he needs to be honest about that with you.
It doesn’t mean he’s an addict, but it may mean he’s taking recreational drugs and I believe that’s a decision you should be included in. Or he may just have got blind drunk, or had a flirtation of some sort. The important thing is that he realises that if he makes a mistake, he needs to tell you so you can sort it out together. Kicking him out isn’t going to achieve that. And what would I do? I’m a three strikes- and-you’re-out kind of girl. You’re only up to number one.
- Wendyl
A:
Dear Wendyl,
I really need your advice. The other night my husband didn’t come home and I had no idea where he was. His cellphone was turned off and I was distraught. Finally he rolled in at 6am and seemed to expect me to welcome him with loving arms.
He was shattered for two days afterwards, then he seemed okay. He’s been apologetic but won’t talk about what he was up to. My friend says I should kick him out and that there must be another woman involved. She thinks I should teach him a lesson, but it’s not like he’s done this before. What would you do?
Upset, email
Dear Upset, Forget about what I would do for the moment. Judging by the two-day come-down, his unusual behaviour of not keeping you informed and the staying out until 6am, I think your husband took some drugs or something similar. And I think he needs to be honest about that with you.
It doesn’t mean he’s an addict, but it may mean he’s taking recreational drugs and I believe that’s a decision you should be included in. Or he may just have got blind drunk, or had a flirtation of some sort. The important thing is that he realises that if he makes a mistake, he needs to tell you so you can sort it out together. Kicking him out isn’t going to achieve that. And what would I do? I’m a three strikes- and-you’re-out kind of girl. You’re only up to number one.
- Wendyl
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