Most parents with a bit of experience can look at a toddler tantrum and analyse it pretty quickly. It’s most likely to happen in the afternoon, when the child is tired and the adults are in a hurry. It’s also likely to happen when a child is hungry or thirsty. And because the child has no other way of saying, “I want it and you’re not letting me and that’s unfair,” tantrums are a perfectly normal phase for kids between one and three years ago, and it helps to and three years of age, and it helps to understand why they happen.
Tantrums reflect a stage of development where your child wants more independence but this collides with emotional and verbal immaturity. Unable to express their feelings in words, toddlers instead discharge them with screaming and a physical frenzy.
Here are some tips for thinking ahead and avoiding tantrums:
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Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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