Katy Perry’s naked wedding
Never a shy guy, Russell Brand is dishing the dirt about his scandalous plans for his upcoming nuptials to singer Katy Perry. The British comedian reveals, “We are going to do the wedding naked! All the families will be naked!”
Asked what else would happen at his dream ceremony, Russ adds, “All my dream weddings don't make sense. The vicar will start melting, the people in the front row will turn into people from my school and then everyone will only say the word ‘potato’.”
We hope for Katy’s sake, things run a little more smoothly than that. All the ‘I Kissed a Girl’ singer will say is, “We just want it to mean something. It doesn't matter if it's just me and him or if it's a big, fat ordeal. I think when the time is right and we can both schedule it, we will do it.”
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Over the Teacups
My four-year-old grandson was at the supermarket with his mother when he exclaimed, “You’re buying something, Mummy, auntie is buying something – I want to buy something!” Mum replied, “You have to be big, have a wife, have a job, then you can buy things.” He replied, “I have a wife – Maia,” meaning his four-year-old friend. Mum said, “What about a job?” Master Four replied, “My job is having a wife!”
Robyn, Whangarei
Water you want?
I was in the car and asking Master Three what he wanted for Christmas. He said he was going to ask Santa for a water pistol. “And Nanny,” he added, “I’m going to ask for some water for our paddling pool.” Now that could be interesting!
Julie, by email
Bee gone
Master Three had his first bee sting recently. The incident broke his heart, but after many cuddles he came right. Later he said, “I never want to see another bee again. I don’t like bees any more, I only like flies.”
Gaileen, by email
Fraud with worry
My daughter warned me that “old people are being taken for a ride,” and that I shouldn’t engage in conversation with phone sales people. To this, Master Five piped up, “Nana can’t go on that ride, she’s old.”
Joseph’s Nana, Hamilton
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